5 WARNING SIGNS IN A MAN WHEN DATING

I’m writing this article to help any women that is in a relationship, in the dating phase, looking to meet the man of her life, in a situation where she’s not yet married but is about to or hoping to, make the right decision if she should move forward, address situations or worse case scenario, end the relationship. My prayer is that this may help at least one woman make the right decision. Trust your instinct, and do not be afraid to make decisions even if they make no sense to your entourage.

Here are 5 things I would consider warning signs when dating:

1- Make sure he’s got the fear of God in him

I never quite understood what it meant before, but what I understand now is that a man with the fear of God will refrain from worldly behaviors or at least try to refrain. We all know the story of David and Bathsheba. David, a man after God’s heart that gave into his flesh. When he was confronted by the prophet, he understood the wrong he had done. I’m not saying a godly man will never fail, I’m saying a godly man will recognize and acknowledge where he failed, unlike a worldly man. Having the fear of God makes a man’s path straighter. We, faulty humans, cannot walk straight on our own, we need God’s helping hand.

2- Observe how he interacts with others

This one is very popular on dating advice sites, but I have a different take on it. Yes, it is important to observe how he interacts with others in general, like his family, friends, mother etc., but I would say observe how he interacts with other females. The way he interacts with other women will tell you a lot about his character. What I’m about to say will sound crazy, but bring in your sisters, you girlfriends, your colleagues and go out with him in a female dominant setting, and observe his interactions. Is he flirtatious with other women? Does he suddenly forget about you in the enjoyment of engaging with other beautiful ladies? How does it make you feel? I find that the way a man interacts with other women while in a committed relationship or even during courtship with his date, is a good indicator of his level of maturity. If or when you address your observations to him, what’s his response? Denial, aggressivity, passive aggressive response, accusations, or constructive conversation?

3- Is he in your team?

“Teamwork makes the dreamwork” they say? Well, they’re entirely right…whomever they is.

Look out for his reactions when someone attacks you verbally, and hopefully never physically. Does he defend you? Does he laugh or maybe he really just doesn’t care at all? Does he have a tendency of siding with others when he a discussion in a group setting? When you enter a group activity, is he walking with you or is he out there the entire time walking with “Sally” and “Jenna”? I understand you’re not Siamese, but generally when you’re in a team, regardless of the sport or activity, rarely do you see a member of one team spend more time in the “adverse” camp than in his own…just saying, something to observe! True, dedicated partnership is essential.

4- Does he curse? How does he speak?

I know every couple is different, and I have seen many couples for whom cursing at each other is a fun, normal, and even an endearing thing. It’s definitely not my thing, and I would strongly advise against it. When you’re good, meaning in a good season of your relationship, you may laugh when he curses at you in an “endearing way” …whatever that means, but when you’re fighting and those curses are thrown at you, it’s suddenly a different game. I would strongly advise for respect in regular daily conversations, in order to set boundaries and bridle your mouths as a training for eventual inevitable fights. A habit of cursing will transpire in all situations, so it’s best to keep it under control as much as possible.

5- Can he respect boundaries?

This one is crucial in my opinion. You need a man that can understand and respect, when you set boundaries, even if it makes no sense to him. Respecting boundaries, shows care and self control. A mature man will be able to express discontentment with the boundary you’re setting while still respecting it, because he cares for you, has self control and ultimately, loves you. A man that will push your boundaries, does not love you. It shows self centeredness, selfishness and an inability to control himself. Beware of those men, they will sway you into doing things you do not wish to do for their own pleasure. That’s not love.

There are so many things I could have said, but I’m going to stick to those 5 advices for now. Be careful out there, the dating scene today can be a very scaring thing. Pray for discernment, take your time, boldly address your observations, and trust your instinct.

Peace and discernment be with you!